There's a moment in every meaningful pursuit when things get uncomfortable. The workout becomes difficult. The conversation turns awkward. The project reveals its complexity. The learning curve steepens.
At this moment, most of us reach for relief. We check our phones. We switch tasks. We find a reason to step away. The discomfort fades, and we feel better—for now.
But something important was lost in that moment of escape: the opportunity to grow.
Growth happens at the edge of our comfort zone. Not far beyond it, where overwhelm sets in, but right at the boundary—the place where things feel challenging but manageable, unfamiliar but not impossible.
The skill of sitting with discomfort is perhaps the most valuable one we can develop. It underlies nearly every other capability we might want to build. Want to get stronger? You'll need to tolerate the discomfort of exertion. Want to learn something new? You'll need to sit with the discomfort of not knowing. Want to have difficult conversations? You'll need to bear the discomfort of tension and uncertainty.
"The obstacles we face in life are like the reading material we have to read in classes to learn something new
What helps is recognising discomfort for what it is: information, not a command. The feeling of discomfort tells us we're at an edge, but it doesn't tell us we need to retreat. We can acknowledge the feeling, even name it, while continuing to act.
This is easier said than done, of course. Our nervous systems are designed to move us away from discomfort. Fighting that instinct requires practice and patience.
But here's the remarkable thing: the more we practice sitting with discomfort, the more comfortable we become with being uncomfortable. The edges that once stopped us become the places we operate from regularly.
Our comfort zone expands not by avoiding its boundaries, but by repeatedly visiting them.